T h e M o s t P o w e r f u l W a y s to S a y
☆Here are ten other poetic replacements and omissions:
Drop “of.”
– He thinks of himself as a Genius.
– He thinks himself a Genius!.
2. Drop “is.”
– Do you think it is important?
– Do you think it important?
3. Drop the second “is.”
– “Every look is a cordial smile, every gesture a familiar carrers.
4. Replace “very” with “-est of.”
– It is a very rare event.
– It is the rarest of events.
5. Replace “are” with a comma.
– These are the men who stood their ground.
– These, the men who stood their ground.
6. Replace “-able” with “a matter of.”
– It’s disputable.
– It’s a matter of dispute.
7. Drop “that are.”
– I have a taste for all things that are classical.
– I have a taste for all things classical.
8. Replace “that he was” with “him.”
– I thought that he was wise.
– I thought him wise.
9. Replace “-ful” with “a source of.”
– Her continued absence is regretful for us all.
– Her continued absence is a source of regret for us all.
10. Replace “with” with “of.”
– “They were sitting in the blind that Wanderobo hunters had built with
twigs and branches...”
– “They were sitting in the blind that Wanderobo hunters had built of twigs
and branches...”—
☆Verb Displacement
-He died in April.
-He is dead simce April.
Read:Sentences,Advance Structural form
Un-displaced version: We were sitting in the blind that Wanderobo hunters
had built of twigs and branches at the edge of the salt-lick when we heard the
truck coming. At first it was far away and no one could tell what the noise was.
Then it stopped and we hoped it had been nothing or perhaps only the wind.
Hemingway’s version: At first it was far away and no one could tell what
the noise was. Then it was stopped and we hoped it had been nothing or
perhaps only the wind.
☆ Shape Shiftinng
Let’s assume that your company has been taken over by new management, and
you have been tasked with creating a new slogan to whip whatever employees are
left into shape. After some consideration, your new slogan goes like this:
Don’t cause a problem; find a solution.
That may be a little nondescript, but fear not. Watch what happens when a
piece of the structure—or shape—of the first clause is shifted to the second:
Before shift:
Don’t cause a problem; find a solution.
After shift:
Don’t cause a problem; cause a solution.
Now that’s much improved.
Shape-shifting gives your words an aphoristic feel, which is to say that it makes
what you say seem wise and clever—because it is. So it’s no coincidence that
shape-shifting is used by people who want to persuade and inspire. Consider this
except from the Reverend Martin Luther King’s “A knock at midnight” speech,
as he examines the problem of racism in America.
The problem isn’t so much that we don’t know enough, but
it’s as if we aren’t good enough. The trouble isn’t so much that our scientific genius lags behind, but that our moral genius
lags behind.
Here, King uses two shape-shifts back to back, which creates an automatic
rhythm to his prose. The first shift is good, but the second shift is remarkable
because it creates a set of words not ordinarily seen or heard. Just as we are unac-
customed to “causing solutions,” we are equally unaccustomed to having a “moral
genius,” let alone allowing it to lag behind.
Here’s one from this very book. See if you can shape-shift part of the structure
of the first clause to the second, and thereby create a more interesting effect:
Before shift:
…words are powerful not in and of themselves, but in the way they com-
bine to form that which they could never be otherwise.
After shift:
…words are powerful not in and of themselves, but in and of each other, in
the way they combine to form that which they could never be otherwise.
☆Preposition:
Here’s a fairly extensive list of prepositions taken from Wikipedia. Use this
list to find substitutions that destroy clichés and improve your speech and prose.
• aboard
• about
• above
• across
• after
• against
• along
• alongside
• amid
• amidst
• among
• amongst
• around
• as
• aside
• astride
• at
• athwart
• atop
• barring
• before
• behind
• below
• beneath
• beside
• besides
• between
• beyond
• but
• by
• circa
• concerning
• despite
• down
• during
• except
• excluding
• failing
• following
• for
• from
• given
• in
• including
• inside
• into
• like
• minus
• near
• next
• notwithstanding
• of
• off
• on
• onto
• opposite
• out
• outside
• over
• pace
• past
• per
• plus
• qua
• regarding
• round
• save
• since
• than
• through
• throughout
• till
• times
• to
• toward
• towards
• under
• underneath
• unlike
• until
• up
• upon
• versus
• via
• with
• within
• without
